It’s completely normal to feel discouraged after experiencing setbacks in your job search. If you’re feeling stuck, like you’ve tried everything but aren’t getting anywhere, it’s important to acknowledge those feelings. Instead of staying in that frustration, though, try shifting your focus toward what you’d like to be different.
Ask yourself, “How would I like to feel instead?” This can open the door to clarity about your next steps. For example, maybe you want to feel more confident or like you’re back on track to finding work. When you can picture that outcome, you’re already moving closer to it.
It’s also helpful to separate the “hard” outcomes—like landing a job—from the “soft” outcomes, which might be feeling more confident, learning something from each interview, or even refining your approach. If you only measure success by getting a job, it’s easy to lose hope. But by recognising progress in the form of soft outcomes, you’ll begin to see what’s working as you move toward your ultimate goal. This shift in perspective helps keep hope alive, even in the face of setbacks.
We all have two versions of ourselves: the “problem” version and the “solution” version. When you’re feeling stuck in your job search, it can be easy to see yourself through the lens of the problem—what’s wrong, what hasn’t worked, what you need to fix. While it might seem helpful to focus on these issues, doing so can stop you from recognising your own ability to overcome the challenge.
If you can shift your focus to your “solution” version, you can start to see yourself as resourceful and capable. Instead of thinking, “I’ve tried everything and nothing’s working,” reflect on what you’ve already done that has worked in some way. By revisiting your strengths, you can rediscover resources you might not have considered.
Even if you feel like you’ve exhausted every option, take a step back and explore what has been helpful, even in small ways. This shift in thinking can remind you of your determination and how much you’ve already achieved on your own. Working with your solution version helps you build on the progress you’ve made and keeps you focused on your strengths as you move forward.
Scaling questions can be a powerful way to see what’s already working in your job search. For example, you could ask yourself “On a scale of 0 to 10, where 10 means I feel confident and on track in my job search, and 0 is the complete opposite, where do I place myself right now?”
Once you identify your number, you can then ask, “What puts me at that number and not lower?” This helps you recognise the things you’re already doing that are moving you forward, even if they don’t feel significant. Asking, “What else puts me at that number?” can reveal even more details about your efforts that are working.
Realising that you’re not starting from zero can boost your sense of hope. Recognising your strengths and resources reminds you that you’re already on the path to progress. From there, you could ask, “If I were to move one point higher, what might I notice?”
This simple question helps you focus on signs of improvement and keeps you moving towards your preferred future, one step at a time.
A client I worked with was feeling discouraged after experiencing multiple job rejections, despite putting significant effort into his job search. He felt uncertain about his abilities and was losing confidence. His main hope was to feel “on track” in his career journey. Through solution-focused coaching, I asked him to reflect on times when he had felt confident and successful in his job search, even if he hadn’t secured a position yet. This helped him recognise what was already working for him—his proactive approach to networking, job research, and skill development. He had been shortlisted for interviews and was continuing to develop himself through online courses but had not yet acknowledged how well he was progressing.
By reframing his situation, my client realised that he was, in fact, on track. He acknowledged that employers were recognising his skills, which was reflected in him being invited for interviews. This recognition boosted his confidence, and he felt more positive going into his next interview. Instead of focusing on what wasn’t working, solution-focused coaching helped him see the strengths he already had, making him feel more capable and energised. A few weeks later, he secured a job in his chosen field. This approach allowed him to take ownership of his progress and achieve his goal.
If you would like to explore further how solution focused coaching can help with your job search, click here to arrange a discovery call.